Short Story: “The Jellyfish Void”

Swimming in warm water that lapped at every dorsal inch in pliant acceptance of her misbegotten backstroke, she realized after a while that jellyfish, tiny and transparent, like minuscule balloons some of which had little bits of brackish-inlet sedge or seaweed floating suspended within them, had begun to swim alongside her. Concerned for a moment, she was becalmed again when one touched her upper arm and proved unable or unwilling to sting. Unable, it must have been—the jellyfish, she remembered, a brainless and almost nerveless scrap of animated water, had no more will than it had pain, there in that warm water that soon would cover much more of the world than it did.

Since she had been six she had come, on and off, to this jellyfish space, this cove at the bottom of a long track down from a rambling extended-family home on a bluff. The extended family was no longer hers, really, for a number of reasons, but it was hers enough that she still came here and still visited them and still lost herself in these waters. The jellyfish were new, or perhaps it was she who was new, so new that she had only just noticed them. One brushed up against one of her hips. The sun was hot enough to bake her belly through the dark fabric of her swimsuit, even though she was wallowing in water and easily able to barrel-roll in the water, to log like a whale if it got too much to bear.

Once she had dreamed about being a river dolphin, in South America or in China, maybe. She had come up out of the river, had come into a village, into a festival—and then back into the river, back to an underwater village, an underwater festival. Up out of the river again, and she was a seal on a North Atlantic skerry now, and it was no longer a river but the surging slate-grey sea. She married, grew old, left her husband, and went back into the sea—a lake now, and she was a bright-scaled carp, swimming hither and thither in the sun-splashed, sometimes-shaded shallows. And then the dream had ended, and she had woken in a start, and sat up in a bedroom in a house cocooned in morning rain.

It felt as if the jellies that were swimming with her now had come to her out of this dream of dreams. The darkness of the dream had sent her out into a dismaying light, and that had always worried her, ever since that so-sudden awakening. The light dismayed her less than usual now. She reached out in this warm and brightly lit reality and touched a jellyfish, a harmless jellyfish, maybe not a cnidarian at all but something that merely looked and acted similar the way she herself looked and acted like an ordinary and healthy person. She wondered if she could be or become harmless in her unordinariness and ill health. Probably she was more harmed than harmful already, she thought, as were the jellies, as was the water.